9unt:
i feel like this is gonna upset some people but i have to say it. i struggled very severely with mental heath issues for most of my life and im not obliged to anyone to give more details than that but do you know what finally helped me into recovery after years of toxic cycles? i had a therapist who, every time i started going on a rant that seemed to be victimising myself or looking for sympathy, she’d stop me and say “what are you looking for from me? what do you want me to say?” she’d call out my own desperate seeking for validation and sympathy and she cut those coping mechanisms right out of me eventually. and i hated her. i really did. i thought why are you trying to stop me from looking for sympathy?im struggling? but what i’ve realised in hindsight is that in that mindset of self victimisation you can never recover because youre holding yourself down and wallowing in your pain because you think you need it to appeal to others.youre missing something and youre substituting it by being able to make people pity you. and im not saying dont share your pain with others because thats a vital part of recovery too but think what your motives are.dont go into a victim mindset at the first sign of trouble because that puts you in a position without power over yourself and your situation! i thought id never be able to recover whilst still being in a toxic household and yet i did because i stopped making myself the victim. yes allow your pain, yes acknowledge your feelings and say that theyre warranted and deserved, but stop seeing your position as a place thats impossible to get out of. posting all these self deprecating memes and deeply personal posts to share to the masses… question your motives. is this harming me? is this normalising my own suffering?is this integrating my illness INTO my personality in a way which makes me think i cant live without it? are my posts harming others? question your oversharing, find the validation youre seeking in yourself not in others.
